Conte bis ministri, la rinuncia di Andrea Orlando

M5s pronto a offrire una poltrona ad Alessandro Di BattistaNotizie di Politica italiana - Pag. 659Giorgia Meloni, lunedì in piazza con Matteo Salvini

Renzi: "Il Governo M5s-Pd durerà solo con ministri di qualità"Il letame in redazione e l’orgoglio del fratello d’Italia Lollobrigida. 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background-color: #fff; border-radius: 0.5rem; box-shadow: 0 12px 24px rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.12); font-family: sans-serif; content: 'Loading...'; display: flex !important; font-size: 13px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 1; justify-content: center; min-height: 50px; text-transform: uppercase;}#speakup-player:empty{ display: block;} Stavolta l’olio di ricino non dovrà essere somministrato ai reprobi, ma assunto, con pubblico orgoglio, in prima persona, e a dosi peristaltiche, dal titolare del ministero. In tal modo potrà fornire la materia prima da impiegare all’uopo ed educare, allo stesso tempo, i giornalisti, a riconoscere, a naso, la fece del padrone. Senza dimenticare la risorsa rappresentata dal nuovo liceo dell’orgoglio Made in Italy: una o due ore a settimana, dedicate all’economia del concime, magari a corredo di un corso di scrittura padana creativa e sensoriale. Colmerebbe il programma di studio, che per ora appare un po’ leggero, per formare nuove generazioni di professionisti in grado di apprezzare la materia e sostenerne, con orgoglio, la produzione domestica ◆ Il commento di MAURIZIO MENICUCCI► Con l’accusa, scagliata dal ministro Lollobrigida ai giornalisti, di ignorare l’odore del concime − va da sé che debba essere naturale come le proteine autarchiche da cui orgogliosamente deriva − il governo Meloni compie un sorprendente salto di qualità. Non c’è dubbio: la sua compagine sta bruciando le tappe verso quell’alto profilo che la premier aveva promesso all’esordio del mandato, lanciando, sì, il cuore (e il naso) oltre la toilette, ma restandone, comunque, nei paraggi. Con il merito aggiunto, dunque, di un sano pragmatismo, riconosciutole dagli avversari, che la induce a tener conto degli uomini a disposizione, ma anche, e con malcelato orgoglio, della loro innegabile crescita culturale verso il traguardo dell’egemonia gramsciana. Del resto, l’uscita del cognato alla presidenza del Consiglio non dovrebbe stupire nessuno, se non quella sinistra che, per dirla col ministro, va in giro con la puzza al naso e i rotoloni regina nella pochette. Non si scambino, però, le genuine parole del Fratello d’Italia per la ‘naïveté’ che, con troppa sufficienza, si è soliti attribuire ai parvenu del Palazzo. Dentro c’è ben altro: questa maggioranza ha ormai imparato a fare politica e, anche quando nega, non lascia mai partire colpi a casaccio dai propri pistola. Leggiamole, allora, per quelle che sono: un messaggio di orgoglio, arrotolato, profumato e multistrato, rivolto, prima ancora che ai giornalisti e all’opposizione, a quanti, nelle file della maggioranza, in particolare Matteo Salvini, pretenderebbero di arraffare a piene mani la materia di competenza del ministero all’Agricoltura e infilarla nel proprio ventilatore.  È chiaro, invece, che, anche in una orgogliosa logica di filiera nazionale, l’unico abilitato a maneggiarla, e prossimamente anche a lanciarla nello spazio, è il legittimo rappresentante del comparto rurale che ha l’orgoglio di produrre l’articolo in questione, e non chi semplicemente lo trasporta. Detto questo, ora si tratta di vedere come il ministro-cognato intenda concretizzare la promessa, come ha detto, di rimediare umilmente − ma sempre orgogliosamente − al problema. Suggeriamo, di seguito, alcune soluzioni, tra quelle più a portata di sciacquone. La prima è senza dubbio quella che meglio e con minori sprechi, attinge da uno degli strumenti culturali più cari alla tradizione della destra italiana: l’olio di ricino. Stavolta, però, non dovrà essere somministrato ai reprobi, ma assunto, con pubblico orgoglio, in prima persona, e a dosi peristaltiche, dal titolare del ministero, che in tal modo potrà fornire la materia prima da impiegare all’uopo ed educare, allo stesso tempo, i giornalisti, a riconoscere, a naso, la fece del padrone. Se la spremitura di ricino non fosse disponibile perché già tutta impiegata per sollecitare altre impellenze, Lollobrigida potrebbe sempre ricorrere, con immutato orgoglio, al servizi che, da quando lui è in carica, sono i più deviati della Storia nazionale: i treni. Attingendo al fondo dei loro gabinetti, acquisterebbe l’innegabile diritto di inorgoglirsi per aver sciolto, con una sola mossa, parecchi dei nodi che affliggono Trenitalia. Aiuterebbe l’azienda a tenere aperti e puliti i suoi vespasiani, punto, come è noto, dolentissimo; contribuirebbe al sollievo di decine di migliaia di utenti (tra l’altro, più quelli di centrosinistra, usi a bere solo champagne e a correre più spesso in bagno): un fattore non di secondaria importanza, mentre si approssimano le scadenze elettorali; potrebbe giustificare le soste fuori tabella, che tanti lo accusano di imporre ai convogli, con la necessità di raccogliere i liquami appena deposti, quindi didatticamente più efficaci, e aumentando allo stesso tempo le quantità da destinare all’informazione.Non dovrebbe, inoltre, il ministro, dimenticare, la risorsa rappresentata dal nuovo liceo dell’orgoglio Made in Italy: una o due ore a settimana, dedicate all’economia del concime, magari a corredo di un corso di scrittura padana creativa e sensoriale, servirebbero egregiamente a colmare il programma di studio, che per ora appare un po’ leggero, e a formare nuove generazioni di professionisti in grado di apprezzare la materia e sostenerne, con orgoglio, la produzione domestica.   Se però il collo di bottiglia di tutto il progetto sono davvero i volumi di palta e quella degli italiani, ormai ridotti a mangiare a giorni alterni, non dovesse bastare, consigliamo al ministro di lanciare a tutta l’Europa, da Parigi, una campagna di deposizione e conferimento, sull’esempio dell’oro donato alla patria, che potrebbe utilmente intitolarsi alla ‘Nonna Dada’. Un personaggio di fantasia, certo, ma Lollobrigida, che è uomo di mondo e anche poliglotta, pronunciandolo in francese – fatelo anche voi, è un calembour che andava di moda all’asilo – comprenderà subito il perché. E non potrà trattenere un sorriso di orgoglio, sentimento che i giornalisti, proprio come il profumo di letame, non sono assolutamente capaci di apprezzare. © RIPRODUZIONE RISERVATA di Italia Libera   30-01-2024 - 06:57 Link copiato Commenti Leggi la Netiquette

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