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(askanews) - Per gli psicologi Marco Giacobbi e Maurizio Iengo le crisi possono trasformarsi in risorse, ma le relazioni sono un impegno dove mettersi in gioco, sempre in due Nelle filosofie giapponesi le spaccature non rappresentano un punto di non ritorno, bensì una ripartenza, da abbellire e valorizzare. Riparare le proprie cicatrici senza nasconderle è un concetto applicabile non solo all'arte del kintsugi, ma anche ai rapporti di coppia. Marco Giacobbi e Maurizio Iengo sono due psicologi di coppia che insegnano a fare proprio questo: ripartire dalle proprie "crepe". Il loro approccio è molto rapido, basato sul metodo Gottman, un modello evidence based per la terapia di coppia. In un percorso tipico, che ha una durata media di sole dieci sedute, che possono essere svolte online, le coppie decidono di mettersi in gioco per salvare il proprio rapporto. Il focus è l'hic et nunc, il qui e ora. Piuttosto che scavare nel passato, preferiamo visualizzare gli obiettivi attuali della coppia e lavorare su questi in modo concreto spiegano, ma le proprie storie individuali non vengono messe da parte, infatti ci sono casi dove possiamo integrare altri metodi, per riuscire ad affrontare traumi profondi. Il nostro focus, però, rimane sempre sul migliorare la situazione attuale, per vivere un oggi più sereno . Per le coppie è fondamentale però partire dal presupposto che per salvare il rapporto, bisogna lavorare e mettersi in gioco. La relazione è un sistema di co-dipendenza. Lavorare su un singolo membro della coppia può influenzare positivamente l'intera relazione, ma è più efficace quando entrambi i partner sono coinvolti . Le difficoltà non sono un tabù, né un qualcosa da demonizzare: i problemi con la famiglia di origine e i tradimenti sono i motivi che spingono maggiormente le coppie a rivolgersi ai terapeuti. Affrontare un tradimento non significa condannare la relazione, è possibile salvare il rapporto. Spesso ci capita di vedere coppie che, dopo un percorso terapeutico, diventano più forti di prima. La chiave è la normalizzazione del problema, oltre che l'impegno reciproco nella risoluzione . Proprio dall'attenzione a questo tema è nato il libro "Psicologia del tradimento etero e omosessuale: conoscerlo, prevenirlo, superarlo": analisi, spiegazioni ma anche strumenti pratici ed efficaci per riuscire a gestire un evento che, spesso, sconvolge la quotidianità della coppia, ma che non per forza è sinonimo della parola fine. Recuperare una relazione dopo una crisi la rende più forte di prima. È come prendersi cura di un albero: se si ammala, possiamo scegliere di curarlo, tagliare i rami secchi, rendendolo più forte così più forte di prima, piuttosto che lasciarlo morire . Oltre al loro lavoro comune, entrambi i terapisti portano le loro specializzazioni individuali al servizio delle coppie. Giacobbi è ricercatore presso l'Università di Basilea e ha un interesse particolare nello studio del tradimento, mentre Iengo si occupa anche di dubbio ossessivo, tema di cui si sta occupando nel suo nuovo libro in uscita. La relazione è un impegno continuo; le difficoltà comunicative sono spesso centrali e, senza una comunicazione efficace, il rapporto rischia di deteriorarsi. Quello che facciamo è proprio restituire e dare le chiavi per ricominciare a lavorare attivamente per superare le difficoltà. Le crisi a volte sono delle opportunità aggiungono. Che sia con l'oro o con la terapia, le crepe e le cicatrici possono trasformarsi, quindi, in risorse. . di Askanews   06-08-2024 - 10:21 Link copiato Commenti Leggi la Netiquette

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